Better Late Than Never!

I'm sorry I dropped the Friday Funnies ball this week but don't fret because here it is!

I was e-mailed this series of jokes by my lovely Aunt and I hope you enjoy them (and laugh) as much as I did!

They're called "And Then the Fight Started..."

(source)

My wife sat down on the couch as I was flipping channels.
She asked "What's on TV?"
"Dust," I replied.
And then the fight started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded I take her someplace expensive.
I took her to the gas station.
And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to dinner in a nice restaurant. The waiter took my order first.
" I'll take a steak - medium rare" I said.
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"No," I replied. "She can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked he jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started...

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...